security blanket

When I was little my mom would give me a different blanket + stuffed animal to sleep with every night. She didn’t want me to be one of those kids that couldn’t sleep and would throw a tantrum if their one and only ‘blankie’ or ‘teddy’ was lost. So smart. My mom is brilliant, duh and apparently never wanted to give up sleep due to a missing stuffed animal. Well, this worked well until my little sister was born. I have very few memories pre-KK [[definitely think she planned that- if you know my sis you’ll know she makes a statement wherever she goes 🙂 ]]. Actually no memories completely without her. My earliest memory is when my mom was preggers with K. I remember rubbing her belly, and another right before she came- I remember spending the night at my cousins’ house while my mom was at the hospital preparing to birth her. My first sister memory- holding my baby sis on the bed at the hospital, and eating a pear with my grandpa. What the heck brain? You chose some weird details to recall. So not the point. So my sister comes home in the same outfit i did from the hospital- cute little onesie and matching hat/blanket. That was it. Apparently after I saw her with the blanket I then decided it was mine. Which in all fairness I totally think is fine. I mean I am the coolest oldest daughter therefore I should have some benefits right?!?! From then on- pinsbee [that’s what I called my blanket] was mine! I also attached myself to a teddy bear named Kensignton [[that was the company name on the tag- and either i was a superb reader or my mom called him that and i followed]] Pinsbee, Kensignton and I were total BFFs. I still have them both to this day. They were my prized possessions when I was younger. Embarassing truth coming up right here|| I would tie Kensignton to my arm using my blankie so in case of a fire i’d have them both with me. Priorities! I totally had mine figured out. As I got older and blankies got less cool, I would stick mine in my pillow case so no one would see it. Pretty much my momma’s plan didn’t last. I mean I don’t really think I ever threw super tantrums because i didn’t have my bear or blankie but I also had my favorites and they were a huge part of my childhood. My sister’s comfort items were similar to mine. a blanket and teddy bear…her first blanket had rocking horses on it, but since she was the second child she got some crap blanket and it got old, ripped, and she had to get a replacement blankie. haha KIDDING. I mean it did get old and ripped, but not intentional. Well by then she was old enough to have some say in her new blanket….pink designs, SUPER soft + way cooler than any of our other blankies…. jealous. She always made out with the best! Her teddy bear of choice. Fat Teddy. He was a bear, who was fat. An obvious name for a bear belonging to my sister as she likes to be direct. Fat teddy + kengsington were friends, just like K and I- and they are a part of so many childhood memories…. Unfortunately my mom’s childhood blanket didn’t have the  same positive outcome as K and I’s did. You see, my granny decided that it was time for my Momma to be done with blankies. So every time she would wash my mom’s blanket she would cut a huge chunk off and say it disappeared in the wash. aghhhh! How sad! Eventually there was nothing left! Thank goodness those traumatic events in my mom’s childhood led her to be a super compassionate blanket loving mom. Whew! Don’t worry my mom had plenty of her own ‘mom’ tricks while i was growing up…so i didn’t miss out on anything!

So as we get older do we still have these ‘security blankets’ that we hold onto? I mean, we aren’t dragging around an actual blanket like Linus in Charlie Brown. We find other, less obvious ways of feeling secure. For me, I’ll feel more confident when I’m wearing a cardigan… Seriously!?!?! How this works, I have no idea, but it just makes me feel good. I love me some cardigans. I also love my sunglasses… I love wearing them as a headband inside. 9 times out of 10, when I get somewhere I’ll put my sunglasses on top of my head before even thinking to put them away in their case tucked inside my purse. It will get dark 10 minutes after I arrive somewhere and I’ll sport my shades hours after. No idea why. They just comfort me 🙂 We all have these crazy gimmicks that make us breathe easy. Comfort foods, good books, a favorite movie- Some of them will stay the same our whole lives, other things will comfort us through different stages of life. Things that remind us of home, smell like our favorite person, remind us of our youthfulness. My mom’s comfort foods are popcorn and grits. When I’m feeling homesick, I’ll eat grits 🙂 It’s funny how we begin to associate all these different things with thoughts of comfort.

When I’m feeling confident I work better, feel happier, sleep better, eat healthier, run more, dance often, and so much more! confidence is key:: Life is happening around us, I don’t want to miss any of it! So what if we need a little teddy bear, or a bowl of grist to remind us every so often that you are the JAM! It’s worth it. Cause, I do rock, and I know there are some sweet things in life waiting for me to conquer, accept, believe in, fail at, rise above, achieve and love. What are you afraid of? You might mess up, come in second, repeat a class, or get dumped- but i’m guessing one day, it’ll be worth it. Jesus knows what he is up to and believe me he’s ready for you to be confident in that. It’s freeing to know you don’t have to make the decisions. Trust him, he knows what’s up and I am beyond thankful for that!

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