WARNING: Reading this article will take 9 minutes

So today at work I was doing some research for an upcoming project. Of course for me, that means spending an adequate amount of time utilizing the power of Google. That’s right, I honestly believe I can figure anything out with Google [and YouTube]

For example, I once dropped my pearl earring down my sink. Firstly, I am not the kind of person who stands over the drain while taking out my earrings. Believe me. I take out contacts and earrings every night. Neither which I hope to lose down the drain, especially in my apartment where who the heck knows what has graced the walls of these drains. This was like the most freakishly occurring chain of events I’ve ever seen in my bathroom. While taking my earring out I hit my elbow on my shelf [that happens all the time] dropping my earring on the edge of my counter, where it then bounced off the counter towards my wall. Hitting the corner of my cabinet on my wall, flying towards the edge of the sink where after bouncing off the faucet, it slid downwards into the drain. EEEK. I’m not lying folks. I stood there watching the whole thing. So first I panicked for 3 seconds. Done. Then I went into brainstorming mode. After searching how to get an earring out of a sink the “best options” for finding a lost earring all had to do with a wet/dry vac [which I do not own] with panty hose over the mouth so once you suck the earring out of the drain it won’t be consumed by the vacuum. So. Smart. Like I mentioned, I do not own a wet/dry vac…. and it was midnight so I wasn’t going to be locating once in the next hour. I then researched for a few minutes to see if anyone had ever used the type of vacuum I had to suck up water. Is it weird that people actually had posts about this?? Well no one died doing that, but lets just say I’d most likely be out a vacuum, and probably slightly electrocuted. Fail. Luckily, somewhere amongst my searching I found this youtube video with a guy who was claiming to be Mr. DIY/FIx-IT something like that. After watching his 4 minute video I learned how to unscrew a part of my sink, catch the water that would inevitable pour out, rescue my earring, give the pipes a good cleaning, and be on my merry way. Success, it worked! And I went to sleep at 2am, and wore my earring the next day. Wonderfulness.

Ok- so back to my main point. [yes, unfortunately that was not it] I was reading an article today, well more like perusing it to see if it in fact was worth reading. At the top of the page it said, “This article will take approximately eight minutes to read.” At first I thought, there’s no way this article would take eight minutes…it’s not that long. But then I thought, SERIOUSLY?!?!?! You have to tell me how long the article will take to read. Do people really see that and think, “Oh crap, I only allotted 5 minutes of article reading this morning. Looks like this one’s too long.” I was floored. [I actually then searched “why do people post reading length on their online articles,” I didn’t find anything immediately so I gave up, sometimes you really have to get creative y’all] Then I chuckled a little cause I thought well this will make a good blog post. Hence, the sarcastic “WARNING: reading this article will take 9 minutes as the title. I read rather quickly so sorry if this took you longer to actually read. I mean, no I didn’t ACTUALLY time how long this took me to read. Duh. So lame.

So after thinking through all these random, funny, sarcastic thoughts I then realized that I always want things to be quick. We live in a world where we want instant gratification. When my internet browser page doesn’t load instantly I hit the Refresh” button. Don’t get me wrong I had dial up… Netscape actually. And while we were lucky enough to have a second phone line so we could connect at any time, I’m pretty sure I could give you a play by play of the start up sound, in actual time. [do you have 23 minutes?] When a light turns red and no cars have passed in either direction I get ticked that I had to stop. That I had to stop driving my car, that is completely paid off and was given to me as a high school student and efficiently gets me from point A to point B [like from my awesome job to target] and is nicer than a lot of other people’s cars [ok not too many other people’s cars] but its better than a scoter, horse, trolley, my two legs, or a hundred other modes of transportation. Goodness I am impatient. Ok, so most times I am fairly patient, but sheesh when I’m not it’s really quite ridiculous! Thank goodness I know a God who is far more patient with me then I am ever with anything he has so generously blessed me with.

So while I was quite amused at the posting of the article length [in minutes] I realized, that I sometimes need a little wake up call. Slow Down Sista! Enjoy life. Read an article that takes 8 minutes. Drive for fun, enjoy sitting at a red light with the windows down, love the few and far moments of silence that we so often yearn for and rarely make time to enjoy. I love me some mornings for this very reason. Life is quiet. Everyone is still sleeping, and I can savor the silence and sit with my own thoughts before the craziness of a new day consumes us. mmmm, I think I’ll drink some coffee and enjoy a little silence right now.

xoxo,
AG

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